Connor’s Story

When I was 28 weeks pregnant with my first child I was referred to a specialist at Presbyterian St. Luke’s Hospital in Denver after my OB saw something strange on an ultrasound.  After an initial ultrasound at St. Luke’s, Dr. Richard Porreco, discovered a CCAM (Congenital Cystic Adenomatoid Malformation) in my son’s right lung.  The CCAM was displacing his good lung tissue and his heart leading to hydrops.  According to doctors, my son, Connor, had less than a 50% chance of being born alive.

Connor by Porreco PG 2

This is an excerpt by the doctor that was in charge of my care at Presbyterian St. Luke’s – I am the patient he is referring to in this article and that is the ultrasound of my son’s chest

As if that information wasn’t bad enough, I was immediately admitted to the hospital and put on bed rest until I gave birth. They didn’t seem to care that at this point I was only a little over halfway through my pregnancy. Little did I know, I was in for six, horrendous weeks of bed rest during which I endured endured seven, painful, in-womb surgeries involving large needles and little to no way to ease the pain in order to drain the CCAM in my son’s chest and remove excess amniotic fluid from me.

Connor by Porreco PG 3

This shows Connor’s diagnosis – Type 1 congenital cystic adenomatoid malformation with mediastinal shift causing hydrops. At 28 wks 6 days pregnant Dr. P performed a fetal thoracentesis (stuck a huge needle through my stomach into Connor’s chest to drain the cyst) and drained 80 cc of fluid off of Connor. Then again at 29 wks and 3 days they drained 88 cc of fluid. At 30 wks 5 days Dr. P drained 700 cc of amnio fluid from me as Connor was unable to swallow it like normal babies do. All in all Dr. P drained my amnio fluid twice and performed 5 in-womb surgeries on Connor. I went into labor at 34 weeks and 4 days. His apgars were terrible – basically, he was not stable and chances of survival looked grim

During that time, I was told over and over by medical staff that my son was gravely ill and that there was a very slim chance of survival for him.

Connor by Porreco PG 4

The natural history of Connor’s diagnosis is one of in utero or early neonatal death

It’s like I was being punched in the stomach every single day. I was scared, angry and overwhelmingly lonely though never alone. I spent a long time feeling sorry for myself and blaming myself for what was happening with my baby and in the beginning, I threw tantrums and fought my “jail sentence”. I wanted nothing more than to escape. I repeatedly asked to leave the hospital just to go to church or see the outside world. I think the doctors thought I was crazy. I think they were right. I didn’t fully comprehend what was happening. I was living in a nightmare that I so desperately wanted to wake up from but I never did. I questioned God and repeatedly asked him, “Why me?” At some point I made a decision to trust God and to put all of my hope in him. The truth was, I had no other hope. No other choice and I’d seen some pretty amazing healing miracles in my family already. The seed of faith was there I just had to water it. So I took control of my situation. I chose to fight. I chose to trust God in the face of death. I chose to trust Him and deny my fears and doubts. I chose to live in a realm outside of the natural. I dove head first into the unknown with God. The God of my childhood, the God of my mother, the God that would soon be my own.

I prayed God’s word over my son all day, every day. I spoke life over him. I praised God for the healing that I believed we would receive speaking what was not true as though it were true (Romans 4:17). Before every in-womb surgery I believed that the CCAM would be gone and I thanked God for Connor’s immediate healing. While that nasty thing came back every single time I didn’t lose faith and become angry with God. No. Instead, I went back to my room, my prison cell, and as I laid in bed hooked up to monitors and contracting from the recent trauma to my uterus, I thanked God. Yep. I thanked Him. I chose to praise Him I chose to praise my God in the most horrific and terrifying storm of my life because He was still God regardless of my circumstance. He was still in control. He was still good; still sovereign. My condition didn’t nullify His position. It was only meant to magnify Him more. To put His glory on display. I marched on. I didn’t curl up and die. I didn’t give up. I looked up. I kept my eyes on my Father. I looked to Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith. I endured.

Finally, after I quit fighting, after I surrendered everything to God my jail sentence ended just as suddenly as it had begun. On January 9, 2008 Nick and I would welcome our six week premature, little miracle, Connor Isaac, into the world, but not without one more fight. (tell quick story of my labor and almost dying)

The doctors warned us that Connor would not cry after delivery but he cried, PRAISE GOD! That swollen, one-eared, gravely-ill, little fighter cried. He cried the weakest cry I had ever heard but it was his and it was beautiful. Unfortunately, the evil cyst inside of my sweet boy was not gone and as Dr. Poreeco was stitching me up the nurses rushed Connor over to the corner of the room to get it drained and then they rushed Connor to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit). Not long after he was delivered, a surgeon came to my room asking for consent to perform surgery.  She told us that Connor was not stable and the CCAM needed to be removed immediately.  She also informed us that the odds of him surviving surgery were very bad but she would do her best; as she spoke she was shaking, she radiated fear.  At that point I was especially glad that I have been redeemed, that my hope and trust are not in man, but in the one true, living God.  My husband signed the consent papers and she left.

Newborn Connor

My sweet baby boy’s newborn picture

Once again we turned to God.  We began to pray out loud in the spirit and tell the enemy that Connor was a child of God, that he could not have him, and that Connor was healed.  We called on God again and believed that Connor would live through the surgery.  Only a few minutes later the surgeon returned, and with good news!  The CCAM disappeared!!!  They did an ultrasound of Connor’s chest to determine where they would need to operate and they couldn’t find the CCAM; and better yet, Connor stabilized!  Our God is SOOO AWESOME!!!

Three days later the CCAM was back but this time Connor was stable enough for surgery.  But I was not so sure.  To me, allowing Connor to have surgery would be admitting that God was not in control, that he could not heal my baby.  But God had a plan, he made something wonderful happen.  My pastor visited me in the hospital.  He asked to pray over Connor and my husband and I heartily accepted his request.  We took him to Connor’s isolette, his temporary baby bed.  Pastor R. laid hands on our son, claiming God’s healing promises for him, calling down power from Heaven, and taking his place beside us on our battlefield for Connor’s life.  I admitted to my pastor my apprehension in regards to Connor having surgery and the blow it could issue to my faith.  He gently reminded me that God uses people and their gifts for his good.  God works through people.  Sweet relief!  I immediately felt my guilt subside; Connor would have surgery and I would still put my trust in God to bring him through.  On January 12, 2008 my precious son became the 1st  baby to undergo a laparoscopic lung surgery; 2/3 of his right lung were removed and afterward Connor spent 1 month in the NICU.

During that month my family and I prayed over him, anointed him with oil, and continued to speak in faith.  I used to anoint Psalm 145 in my Bible and read it over and over and over to Connor.  God watched over his word to perform it, his word did not and never will return void.  Connor came home on February 8, 2008; such an incredible gift from God!  The doctors said that Connor would be on oxygen for 1 year and Connor came off of oxygen just shy of 3 months old!  We were told that Connor may always have just 1/3 of a right lung but at 1 year old Connor was discharged from his lung surgeon’s care because his lung re-grew!

Advertisements

Letters

I’ve been going through old emails lately. Reminiscing. Reminding myself of the hell I’ve been through and the miracles I’ve been blessed to receive. I’ve been rehearsing the faithfulness of the One who walked with me through the fire and … Continue reading

Are You With Us?!

Thank you for standing with us in this fight.  We have placed our faith in GOD and we trust that HE will deliver us again, HE is able.  Please recite these verses at least 3 times per day OUT LOUD…send God’s word to Heal. 

James 5:15 “The prayer of faith shall save the sick…”

Psalm 18:1-2 — We love you, O Lord, our strength.  You are our rock and our fortress and our deliverer.  Our God, our strength, in whom we will trust.

Psalm 107:19-20 — We cry out to the LORD in our trouble; and HE SAVES US out of our distress.  HE SENT HIS WORD and HEALED Bob!

Hebrews 4:12 — For the Word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow.

We are sending the word of God into Bob’s body and he is healed.  We use HIS Word as a sword.  We give no place to sickness or pain, for God sent His word and healed Bob.

Father I make a demand on Bob’s bones to produce perfect marrow.  I make a demand on the marrow to produce pure blood that will ward off sickness and disease. 

John 10:10 & John 6:63 — The thief does not come except to steal, kill and destroy.  Jesus has come that we may have LIFE and that we may have it more abundantly.  The words that I speak to you are spirit and they are LIFE.

You have given Bob abundant life, He receives that life through YOUR WORD and it flows to every cell of his body bringing healing and health. 

I Peter 2:24 — Jesus himself bore our sins/sickness in His own body on the tree that we, having died to sin/sickness, might live for righteousness – by HIS stripes Bob is healed.

Jesus bore sickness in His Body on the tree; therefore Bob is dead to sickness and alive unto God and by HIS stripes Bob is healed and made whole.

Proverbs 4:20-22 — My son, give attention to my words; incline your ear to my sayings.  Do not let them depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of your heart; for they are LIFE to those who find them and HEALTH TO ALL THEIR FLESH.

Heavenly Father, Bob attends to your word and inclines his ear to your sayings, he will not let them depart from his eyes, he keeps them in the midst of his heart, for they are LIFE and HEALING to all of his flesh.

Mark 11:24 – Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

We believe your word God.  We believe that Bob is healed.

Psalm 91:14-16 — “Because Bob loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.  Bob will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver Bob and honor him.  With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

Psalm 118:17 — Bob will not die, but live and declare the works of God.

Psalm 103: 1-3 – Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name!  Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits; He forgives all our iniquities, and He HEALS all our diseases.

Thank you Lord that Bob is healed!

I’m Standing Still

“Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today…the Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:13-14

God, I’m tired tonight.  But it is not by MY strength, it is by yours!  Your word says to stand firm and I will see the deliverance you will bring me.  I believe this promise is for Bob.  I believe you have delivered him already.  I will stand firm in my faith and watch for you to move.  I will wait expectantly with hope in you and your word.  I know you will fight for him, you are already fighting for him. 

You are Jehovah Nissi!  Reveal yourself to Bob as his healer.  Just as Moses held up a miracle working rod, I will hold up a rod for Bob.  My rod is JESUS CHRIST!  I am holding up my hands, hanging tight and resting in you!  I will ENDURE!  I will NOT GIVE UP until we have VICTORY! 

Death has no sting, hell has no victory.  YOU WIN, God!  We win through you!  Bob is healed by you!  Thank you for healing him!  I will live in thanksgiving!!!  I will wait expectantly, with faith, with confidence in you and your written and spoken word.  You are the way, the truth, the life.  You are the giver of life.  You have given Bob life!  The enemy cannot take his life away.  Cancer cannot have him. 

God, you are our strength, our song, our refuge and our shelter.  Our help comes from you!  We will rest in you!  We will be still in you!  You will move on our behalf!  You are moving!  “Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders.” Deuteronomy 33:12

You shield Bob!  He is your beloved.  He rests between your shoulders.  You hold him up, Lord.  You hold my family and me up.  You shield us.  We are surrounded with your favor as with a shield.  You are our portion.  You are MORE than ENOUGH!  We trust you!  We will be delivered and restored to glory through you. 

Bob has Moses favor!  My family and I have Moses favor!  We have Moses faith!  God, let us be like the tribe of Naphtali.  Let us abound in your favor and fill us to overflowing with your blessings! 

Deuteronomy 33:26 – none is like the God of Jeshurun.  He rides on the Heavens to help Bob!  The eternal God is Bob’s refuge!  Underneath are the everlasting arms that hold Bob up, that heal Bob!  God, you will drive out Bob’s enemy!  You will drive out cancer and death!  You will destroy cancer, O Lord!!!  Bob will live in safety!  Bob is blessed, he is your child, God!  Bob is a man saved by the Lord Almighty.  You are his shield and helper, Lord.  You are Bob’s glorious sword.  Cancer will cower before you!  Cancer will cower before Bob because you live in him, God!  Cancer has been trampled down!  No one and no thing will be able to stand up against you, God!  Fight for Bob!  Stand up for him!  Since he rests in you, since he is still in you, nothing and no one can stand up to Bob.

Cancer must and will back down in Jesus name!  If our God is for us, then who can ever stop us?  If our God is with us, then who can stand against?  NO ONE!!!   NO THING!!!  NO SICKNESS!!! 

Joshua 1:4-9 – as you were with Moses, God, so you will be with Bob, my family, and me!  You will NEVER leave or forsake us.  We are strong and courageous, we are not scared.  You, God, are with us wherever we go.  Where can we go from your presence?  NOWHERE!  

Thank you for making the destroyer PASS OVER Bob because Bob is COVERED in the blood of the Lamb!  Bob is hidden in you, Jesus.  He is protected by you.  Bob has a covenant with you.  Remember that covenant and honor it!  Save and bless him with a long life and health.  Restore him and set him apart!  Protect him and heal his body.  Let him live! 

God, I will keep pressing in and soaking up your word.  I will keep believing.  I will keep filling my prayer bowl and walking in faith.  I will be obedient to you.  I will say “yes” to you.  I will live in thanksgiving until we see the manifestation of the healing that we KNOW you have GIVEN Bob! 

Lord, if this journey is partly for me then lead me.  Guide me.  Let me please you.  My prayer and fasting in January is coming to fruition Lord.  I am drawing closer to you.  I have FOCUS.  I am walking with you.  My family and friends will call you their Lord and Savior.  All will see and fear, and put their hope in you.  That is my prayer and I KNOW it will come to pass; you always watch over your word to perform it, your word never returns void. 

I love you, my faithful Savior.  I will forever draw near to you.

AMEN!

Create in Him a New Heart, O God

A Heart for Mommy From Blakey 2/11

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh,” Ezekiel 36:26. 

God!  Create in my son a NEW HEART, a WHOLE and HEALTHY heart!  God, I believe that you have given Blake a new heart.  A strong heart!  I claim it now!  I believe it!  My faith HAS HEALED Blake!  He is my son and I am claiming healing for him just as I claimed your healing for Connor.  You created in Connor a new lung.  You gave him life when there was only death and sickness.  You gave him health.  I believe that you have done the same for Blake!  I REFUSE to accept less!  We will see with our eyes tomorrow at the doctor what we know in our hearts to be true!  What I see in my faith, in my spirit, I will see with my eyes! 

Lord you are FAITHFUL!  You are TRUE!  You uphold ALL of your promises!  You promised life and health and that is ALL that I accept for my children, for my husband, for our family, for myself!  Sickness, imperfections, defects, diseases and death have NO place here!!  Where you are, there can be no darkness Lord!  You live in Blake!  You are Jehovah Rapha.  You are the great physician!  You have healed Blake’s heart.  He is made whole in you.  He will tell of your mighty works.  He will praise you alone, O Lord, as will Connor, Nick, and I!  Blake will tell his generation what you have done for him.  To you be all the glory!  You reign!  Glory in the highest you reign!  Every knee shall bow and every tongue proclaim that Jesus reigns!

You are mighty to save Lord.  Ventricular septal defects have NO PLACE in my son’s heart!  You have saved Blake!  We accept his healing!  I do not accept anything but the best for him!  Though the defect is not hindering his growth or causing any other problems it is not of God!  I do not accept anything for my son that is not of God.  Lord God you are exalted forever.  Your name is above all names.  Your name is POWER!  I proclaim this power to be used to heal my son’s heart and I BELIEVE that he is HEALED! 

Thank you God for a manifestation of the healing I believed for!  Thank you that you created in my son a NEW heart!  I LOVE YOU GOD!!!!