Ignoring God

I have had a lot of stress in my life lately; sickness, depression, busyness…the list goes on.  I have been closing myself off, shutting down on the inside and not dealing with my feelings.  Probably because when I do I start to cry or yell at God or my family.  I know that when things in this life get hard I should turn to God in prayer and trust Him to carry me through to triumph.  I know that He is always with me and that He will never leave me.  But lately I have been feeling like He is far away.  This past weekend I actually cried out to Him, “God, where are you?”  I heard Him say, “I’m here.”  If He is here then where am I?  Am I the one that left?  Did I turn my back on God so I could shut out the pain?  When I closed myself off to the world did I also close myself off to God?  I don’t want to do that but I’m so angry with Him.  I want Him to make everything go away.  I believe that He can and I believe in what His word says, isn’t that enough?  How long do we have to wait for God to move?  Then it hit me.  I cannot just sit around believing that God will heal my family and make my life happy again.  I cannot just have faith and then shut myself off from the everyday assaults.  My prayers move God.  If I want Him to move I have to ask and believe and continue to fight the good fight of faith.  Faith without action is dead.  Is my prayer action?  Is speaking in faith action?  Yes.  I don’t want the enemy to use my hurt or anger to get me to stop praying and fighting.  I will not stop doing good until I reap a harvest.  I don’t care how long it takes.  The enemy cannot get me to stop fighting.  I’m here too, God.  I won’t shut down anymore.  But I need your help.  I need you to be my strength and courage.  I can’t face this without you.  You have never let me down and I know you never will.  I don’t want to let you down.  Don’t let me.  Don’t let my faith be empty, an idea, dead.  Don’t let me quit.  Keep pushing me.  Keep encouraging me.  Keep speaking to me.  I promise I’ll listen. 

Thank you mom for finding this today.  It reminded me that God didn’t leave us and he never will.: 

“I will sing of the Lord’s unfailing love forever I will praise the Lord for what He has done. 

No need to worry or fret —— for we shall rejoice together under the Son of God, for what He has done.  For He answers our prayers according to His Word.  His mercy.  His Love.  His Holy Spirit moves out of His word in all its glory and power, healing divine, grace so rich.  He personally rescues us, He lifted me up as I stood up.”

– Cindy Hope

* Thank you, Cindy,  for being our angel while you were here on earth and even now while you’re in Heaven.  We miss you.

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