I feel like a magnet; a problem magnet. When things are going wrong in my life those around me seem to radiate toward me with their problems. I tend to heap them all in one big pile and internalize them; their problems become my problems. Instead of dealing with my own issues I have a hodge – podge of issues on my plate. My prayer list has grown so much I have a hard time keeping up. I feel like a rubber-band that has been stretched so much it is about to break. I can only handle so much! Every time a loved one comes to me with a problem I point them toward God, I give them verses to read, I encourage them to pray and I pray for them. I know that I don’t have to solve these problems on my own and that it is by God’s strength that we will overcome…but come on! My brain hurts and I find myself just crying randomly. Like tears are my body’s way of letting the stress out one drop at a time. I may just spontaneously combust one of these days. I am still waiting for the clouds to lift and the sun to come out. I am waiting for a break in the storm. I know my God will not delay and that his timing is perfect. I just need a big, glaring reminder sometimes.
I’d like to have a peaceful existence. I’d like for the world to seem right at least for a while. But for now I will wait patiently on the Lord, I will continue to soak in the word, and to pray. I will let my loved ones lean on me and I will lean on God. I will be thankful for the blessings I have because they are many and God is so good to me. I know he will send me word of his unfailing love! He always does! I just need to open my ears and eyes a little more these days…
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life.”